Oh, the dreaded info-dump...
So many of the recent books and stories I have read do this. And, as a reader, it pisses me off. As a writer, though, I understand the temptation. I have a motto written on my laptop: Show Don't Tell. Is it easy, hell no. Should I take it to heart, hell yes.
In my recent writings, I am currently stumbling with the idea of showing versus telling. I have one particular paragraph in mind which I think I have written and rewritten about six times (of course, I save each version until I'm positive I won't like it later on) and still don't like. I feel like I'm telling more than showing...
and, it pisses me off!
Here's the latest attempt:
“Queen, I will not lie,” well, at least I would
try not to lie, too much, I told myself, “to you. Zeus, lord of the gods, was
here earlier. We, nymphs, tried to hide from him. But, as you know, we aren’t
very subtle.” I tittered a little at that. What an understatement. It was Zeus’
work, the castration of his own father, which created us. As his father’s seed
rained to Mother Earth, she covered it with her own fertile soil and from each
drop was born a nymph within the life-force of a living tree. As soon as we
matured, we stepped forth from our trees and followed our mother’s path. We
spread fertility across the lands. Subtlety was not an inherent aspect of
creation and birth. The god Priapus was proof of that. His erect and engorged
rod made my nub enflame just in recollection. “But, it was not to be. He stayed
only for a short time. We didn’t even have the time to, well, you know… Anyways,
we were so despondent after his absence that when the satyrs happened by we
didn’t have the heart to flee. It was easy pickings, Queen. I found myself
beset by two of the horny beasts. They handled me quite rudely, thrusting-
I hate this, I really do. And, this is the best I have to date, at least to me. Just doesn't flow right, sounds too lecture-like and not enough like moving along the plot. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading into it. More me and my opinions than reality.
What do you think? Any suggestions?